Out of Hidding

By Christmas night I had had if with the world in many ways.  I sat in the dark on the back porch in the dark.  There was silence...few frogs singing.  I could see a couple of stars and clouds drifting by.  My intend was to empty my spirit and get to a place of rest.  God never disappoints me.  I was instructed to leave Facebook for three days.  That nigh I slept ten and a half hours. 

The almost never happens in my world.

Just fixed my typing alinement.  That is much better. 

This morning there was one more recap of the news for the year.  Muting the sound and turning my attention to Facebook, I was able to escape.  I missed my Friends and the images of my family.  I live in Florida and family is miles and miles away.  When my parents moved to Florida, and I had just moved to Chicago.  There was an occasional letter with photos and the weakly 3 minute call.  I remember my first trip to the new home...the home of their dreams.  They truly went about as far south as possible. 

It does not seem right to hide from the world.  It is important to know what is going on.  My goal is a refusal to absorb its madness.  Many are yelling that I must stand up and fight.  I am not a fighter on many levels. Those who know me see that I am determined and very stubborn at times.  I guess I can fight, but it is not in a violent way.

The presidential campaign was like none other.  After I finally decided who I would vote for the endless sick loops both parties were playing were silenced on my end.  It is not over.  what disturbs me more is the nastiness and hate both sides are casting at each other.  Again let me step out of the line of fire.

The world is raging.  My life is getting shorter.  I do not want to end it with raging.  What to do?

I will tend my garden.  I will tend the gardener.  What comes from me is directly under my control.  My household now is myself my husband and my bulldog.  That is about all I can handle right now.

How did I ever juggle all those balls when I was younger?

'Would, should could' is pushed away.  Each day I can decide what is most important.  It is not easy getting to that place as an adult. 

I know my garden is not a rose garden.  If it was: roses die, bugs come and then there are the thorns.  This sounds negative, but it is realistic.

I have been given the talent of being and artist.  I would like to have the space and guts to push that forward.  Is it art if it is not shared? 

I wish to bring flowers and love to anyone who needs them and will receive them.  My heart has always been giving.  I wish to have an unending flow of oil to give.  It is there, I know it is.

I can fix little.  I cannot solve the worlds problems.  I am too small.  There is power in being small.