Time

Time is limited.  It flies away if there is too much to do.  It can stop if you wish to be in another time.

I want my time to be mine.  I have spent a lot of my life giving time to others.  I consider time one of the most precious gifts.  It is hard to be stingy with time.  I will usually drop anything to spend time. 

Time slows if I slow down.  If I don't stress over it's flow time seems gentler.  Time is very limited, but it is a waste of time to stress over its evaporation.   Looking back, time has raced by.  Looking forward it can stand still.  Just resting in the moment time seems to linger.

I look at my husband.  How much time do we have left.  He is now home.  We are home together.  We usually are working on separate things.  Those little pieces of time as we pass in the house is important.  Sitting at my desk, to do the dreaded paperwork, beside his desk, allows little pieces of time to be shared. 

I love the walks at night in the dark with him.  It is time to talk and share and be.  How much time is left that we will have together?

I love to start my day before daybreak.  This can be hard because I can be a creature of the night.  If I am there with the sunrise I get the most time in my day.  Night or darkness brings closure.  I am not attracted to my studio at night.  When the days are short, I struggle.  I love February when it is apparent that days are getting longer. 

Peace with my time is crucial.  I cannot lust over it.  I can only savor it.  I do want to share time.  I want my world to be small.  Then again, I want my world to expand. 

Time to go...for now...

Out of Hidding

By Christmas night I had had if with the world in many ways.  I sat in the dark on the back porch in the dark.  There was silence...few frogs singing.  I could see a couple of stars and clouds drifting by.  My intend was to empty my spirit and get to a place of rest.  God never disappoints me.  I was instructed to leave Facebook for three days.  That nigh I slept ten and a half hours. 

The almost never happens in my world.

Just fixed my typing alinement.  That is much better. 

This morning there was one more recap of the news for the year.  Muting the sound and turning my attention to Facebook, I was able to escape.  I missed my Friends and the images of my family.  I live in Florida and family is miles and miles away.  When my parents moved to Florida, and I had just moved to Chicago.  There was an occasional letter with photos and the weakly 3 minute call.  I remember my first trip to the new home...the home of their dreams.  They truly went about as far south as possible. 

It does not seem right to hide from the world.  It is important to know what is going on.  My goal is a refusal to absorb its madness.  Many are yelling that I must stand up and fight.  I am not a fighter on many levels. Those who know me see that I am determined and very stubborn at times.  I guess I can fight, but it is not in a violent way.

The presidential campaign was like none other.  After I finally decided who I would vote for the endless sick loops both parties were playing were silenced on my end.  It is not over.  what disturbs me more is the nastiness and hate both sides are casting at each other.  Again let me step out of the line of fire.

The world is raging.  My life is getting shorter.  I do not want to end it with raging.  What to do?

I will tend my garden.  I will tend the gardener.  What comes from me is directly under my control.  My household now is myself my husband and my bulldog.  That is about all I can handle right now.

How did I ever juggle all those balls when I was younger?

'Would, should could' is pushed away.  Each day I can decide what is most important.  It is not easy getting to that place as an adult. 

I know my garden is not a rose garden.  If it was: roses die, bugs come and then there are the thorns.  This sounds negative, but it is realistic.

I have been given the talent of being and artist.  I would like to have the space and guts to push that forward.  Is it art if it is not shared? 

I wish to bring flowers and love to anyone who needs them and will receive them.  My heart has always been giving.  I wish to have an unending flow of oil to give.  It is there, I know it is.

I can fix little.  I cannot solve the worlds problems.  I am too small.  There is power in being small.

Letting it Go

I am not going to fight with people that continue to say mean rude things.  The opposition only makes me negative.  I read in an AARP newsletter that Americans live in very different America.  It is sort of like when their are two children in a family and they hold very different views on the family. 

Each person has their own experiences and people are in different stages of their life.  It is alright to be discouraged and be disappointed.  We all grieve over the past when it did not work out to our expectation.  Life is a mixed bag.  It rains on the good and the evil.  I just want to dig around in the back to find the green M&M.  You can keep all that bitter stuff.

Even when people close to you jump to conclusions, and judge, through their own filters, what is the use of fighting, and trying to prove them wrong.  In time to come they may think differently.  Why pour anymore fuel on their fire. 

It is not that I don't care, feel hurt, and disappointment, but those things get in the way of my own life.  At my age the brain may start diminishing, though I fight it all the way.  Why waste precious time and energy remaining upset.  The Bible speaks of taking control of your own thoughts.  I think people often don't know that is an option.

I posted to this blog last night.  I may have been  successful in sending it to Facebook. I am not sure.  I am on the third day of a 3 day vacation from Facebook.  When clearing out a few drafts,  I deleted last night's post.  Believe me it was great.  I am on another topic today.  Let it go.

A Time for Peace

I am trying to set up a new blog.  It has been awhile since I have done this and I am uncertain of my skills.  Learning will have to happen as I go.  Time to jump into the meat of this blog.

This year I want my main goal is to seek and maintain Peace.  The world is crazy.  People can be so cruel and heartless, but I do know there is still a lot of good out there.  Peace seems to be downed out by the noise of the world. 

I want to go to my Father and seek his Peace.  I know there will never be true peace in the world, not if man is in control.  I am seeking peace within myself and only then I will be able to see the peace around me.  Maybe I will be able to give that peace to others.  Pray for me and wish me luck.