Me and My Spaces.

I have a level of untidiness and then I am either depressed, loosing things, or anxious.  I like things neat and organized.  I just am not willing to spend the time keeping things perfect.  I have not had much cooperation with the people that I have lived with.  If my house is cleaned up it falls on me. 

If I get up and clean the kitchen and pick up the living room I feel empowered, but it is usually messed up with the next person that seeks food. 

My daughter says she does not want spend her life doing housework.  In a way that is what we do.  It is my house.  It is my mess and I am the one to set things right.  It is sort of a to myself if I clean up.  I will do something as I am passing through a room.  I will get something off my to do list and then I do a little housework.  I run off and maybe paint for an hour, then it is back to the housework.

The hardest thing is getting the house cleaned for an open house.  It is hard to get the whole house clean at the same time.  I had a campfire dinner party.  The best thing about it was not having to clean my house shiny.  I even put my husband on his bathroom just before guests arrived, while I started the fire.

After our fire.  My husband pulled most of the stuff inside as I put out the fire and talked to the neighbor.  When the fire pit was ready to be moved to put my car in the drive,  I noticed the food area had been cleared.  That was really nice, because I was tired after preparing for the evening and then being hostess. 

Today I am getting my kitchen back in order a little at a time, but I will get there.

I like to see the floor and have cleared work surfaces for the next project.  That is me.  My house does not run my life,  it is just part of it.

Finding Joy

I am 65.  I have been an on again off again member of AARP since I turned 50. 

In an AARP publication I find a short article "How can I find more joy in my life."  That is one of my main goal.

1.  "Get in touch with your spiritual side."

      the article talks about truth and beauty of the world.  I also pull heavily form God.  I want Spiritual Joy.  This is a gift of the Spirit and it is much deeper than what the world defines.  If times are tough I will do fine until I loss that Joy.  If I do I know exactly where to go to get it back. 

2.  "Savor the moment." 

     We live right now.  The past is over and cannot be changed.  It is a shame to have the past overtake now.  The future will come but now is where you are.

3.  "Say thanks."

     You can call it living with and attitude of gratefulness.  There is so much to whine about.  The whole world seems to be ranting right now.  It wears me out and sends me in endless circles of stress.  Let go and say thanks often. 

4. " Laugh and play like a kid." 

     That is the true secret of staying young.  I am a serious person, but laughing and playing is the spice and I can not life without spice.

Music

I play the piano.  It is a measure on how I am fairing.  If I can sit down and play what I want, I am balanced.  Playing also helps me to slow down what is going on in the brain and focus.  I enjoy the challenge of increasingly difficult music.  I will never be great at playing, but that does not matter.

Music is important to many people.  It is a stress reliever, a memory maker, and entertainment.  Research shows the making music lights up many areas of the brain at once.  It is a way to help your child develop and students that sing or play and instrument generally do better in school. 

On the other end of the game music has a strengthening benefit to the adult mind.  I can help keep dementia in the older brain at a halt. 

I have always been an active music maker.  I sang nonstop as a child.  I practiced the song flute till I was silly and happily took up the clarinet at the end of 5th grade.  I gave that up in high school to take art, but I had learned the to ukulele  in junior high.  I saved my money and bought a guitar.  I played, sang and wrote songs all through college. 

I started to teach myself the piano in college on the dorm piano.  In my 30's we purchased my first piano.  I was seeking a $200 used piano, but my husband got involved and we purchased a baby grand.  I was not very good but play and played from then on.  We moved that piano 4 times. 

When moving to Florida we were going to split our time between two homes.  Last year a digital piano was purchased, the one you see above.  It was good because I could play using head phones, as my husband watched TV and was on the phone nonstop developing a real estate business.  Now I had a piano in both homes.

My husband knew piano playing was important to me.  A piano does not sit idle if I am around.  I felt loved and understood that he knew that a piano was important and a good investment.

I moved him into a quest room, and can now close the door.  I have not been really happy with the digital.  I swear the tone varies and I do have to reboot the thing as it starts sounding like a wet rag.  The piano salesmen  questions this.  I do know that even if my piano, up north, is out of tune it sounds better than the digital.  We happened on another piano show in Sam's by the same distributor.  My husband wanted to talk about how I am not totally happy with the digital and growl at it often. 

They called me a purist.  Maybe I am.  Next week I am getting an acoustic piano, The Piano Distributor is giving me 100% trade in for the new piano.  I think my husband is more excited than I am.  He does not play, but my being happy is important to him. 

Kindness

In the Naples Daily news there was an article outlining the benefits of kindness.  Of course one is your health.  Kindness can lead to healing.  You never know when a very simple act of kindness will be the only light in someone's day.  If you feel dark clouds hanging over your head, you can think outside yourself and be kind to someone else. Their positive response to you will help clear those clouds.

Kindness does not have to be complicated. It can be in the moment.  It can be towards the person sharing the room with you.  Your loved ones are sometimes the last ones to see your kindness.  It is just safer to be in a dark mood in private.

Kindness is an act of caring without expecting anything back.  If you are picking up a dropped credit card for a stranger.  You will get a smile or maybe a, "I can get that,"  The happened when I had passed a table of younger women when a credit card just hit the ground.  I just replied, "No bother."  Then we all giggled when I proceeded to also pick up spilled pennies and dimes, declaring that I was working on my squat muscles.  We exchanged well wishes and then I never saw them again, but the air was lighter.

I think being kind is different than being nice.  Being nice is a felt obligation.  We get in trouble being nice.  We are nice and don't say no when we should.  We are nice and not tell the truth when we should.  Yes sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut when you have nothing nice to say, but when asked it usually is better to say the truth with tact and love.  Never are you required to say everything that is in your mind.

Many of us feel last year was brutal.  We ranted, yelled and whined.  I cringed at the hateful names people were call each other, often never knowing the person on the receiving end.  All that frustration and anxiety lead to real depression in some. To make things worse, there was a large group of people making fun and belittling the ones that were loosing hope. 

That made me angry.  Anger can just take over.  I do not want to be an angry person.  Anger is used to hide grief and depression.  It is said to be a secondary emotion, fueled by another emotions.  The Bible says do not go to bed with your anger.  That is easier said than done. 

I broke that spell on me, not play in the fight any longer.  I would spend my time being kind.  I quickly changed my outlook.  Life can come down to attitude. 

Of course the newspaper talked about how kindness can truly lead to the healing of our country.  Genius.  If we let go of some of what we cannot have and focus on being kind, the endless loops seems to evaporate.  It is simple.  It is right where you stand.  All of the sudden you can do something.

Hope arises and maybe paths appear toward what was seemed impossible yessterday ...

My Life Matters

Happy New Year!  This is It.  I am publishing 3 blogs now.  How often?  Who knows.  I am putting no pressure on myself.

I opened Facebook, with my coffee, this morning.  My good friend Paul had posted a link of an officer who had pinned the above words on his hand.  He had a knowing satisfied look on his face. 

I know what I am taking away from this photo may not be the original intend.  But this is genius.  If your life matters to you, a new light of clarity comes.  It could be a beacon that guides your day.

One step further.  Who else believes your life maters?  That answer may be sobering. 

One truth that does bring me along in my darkest moments is knowing that my life matters to God.

Don't panic.  If you are in a place where you do not know or think your life maters, to you or any one else, maybe you should explore that thought.  If your life does not matter to you, you are actually locked up inside yourself.

Practice put this is on your mirror. (I don't like my hands messy.)  Hide this message under your visor.  Repeat "my life matters," to yourself like a mantra.  Maybe just maybe your mind and spirit will see some light.

This is NOT my life matters and yours does not.  In fact if you know your life matters you should be able to go out and make it your business to show other people around you that their life matters.  This can be loved ones, friends and strangers.

Until you settle the matter that your life matters to you, you will not have much to give even to yourself.  Take the challenge.

P.S.  I chose to paint on my hand.  What color to use?  What brush is right?  I went to my own muse.

Painting on my hand was a bit of a struggle.  About the time I was sure I could do this, I realized that I am painting on my left hand with the paintbrush in my right hand.  I am left handed.  I am really ambidextrous.  I write, paint, draw mostly left handed,  but I often find the brush in my right hand. 

Taking that photo with my iPad was comical. My mission was accomplish.